Monday, October 29, 2018

Hell's Kitchen Radio #349: You're Suffering In It

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If you find yourself face to face with Satan and you were asked what scares you most, what would you say? Would you claim the briar patch? Dark chocolate and caramel scare the bejeezus outta me! And cats. Soft, cuddly cats, who purr and want to sleep on my lap. *shiver* Don't even get me started about a shopping spree at my favorite local record stores. NOOOOOOOOOO!!!

You think Satan would see right through that? Maybe they would turn my favorite things into something I would retch about later. Great! Maybe I'll spend eternity in time management workshops?

I bet I would get some really creative costume ideas if I spent some time in Hell. I feel like my costume vessel is pretty empty these days. A number of years ago I took the position that whatever you choose to be for Halloween you should be a dead version of it. I've been a dead hockey player, a dead judge, dead Jesus (cross and all. There's a longer story there), dead bartender, dead cab driver, dead hippy, and dead Deadhead.

Tonight I come to you as a very alive DJ. This week's show kind of writes itself. There is almost too many Halloween-themed songs out there to share. My job is to curate the perfect two-hour set for your enjoyment. I think I get close. It's scary and silly enough to keep you interested, and I even try my hand at delivering a few mic breaks in verse.

Don't be afraid of the afterlife, when life is scary enough. These are trying times my friends. We need to hold one another closer than ever before. And please remember to VOTE next Tuesday, November 6th. The future of our world is really depending on you. I recommend you vote Democrat (I'm Independent) to balance out the branches at the federal level. Trump doesn't need a blank check.



Hell's Kitchen Radio with John Hell
Mondays 8-10PM
Radio Valencia in SF

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Science Fiction Double Picture Show: Rocky Horror
It's Halloween: The Shaggs
The Fly: The Mummies

Red Right Hand: Nick Cave
Digging My Grave: The Flesheaters
Halloween: Mudhoney
Double Dare: Bauhaus

I Put A Spell On You: Marilyn Manson
The Creature From The Black Leather Lagoon: The Cramps
Little Demon: Screamin' Jay Hawkins
Night of the Vampire: Roky Erickson

Hallowscene: Blush Coffin
Halloween: Siouxise And The Banshees
We Love The Dead: Electric Wizard

Ghost Bitch: Sonic Youth
Suspiria: Goblin
Hanging Garden: Savage Republic

Thangsgiving: Happy Fangs
Now I'm Being Zombified: Alien Sex Fiend
Lexicon Devil: The Germs

Falling Elevators: MC 900 Ft Jesus
What's He Building In There: Tom Waits

Monday, October 22, 2018

Hell's Kitchen Radio #348: Rebel Hell

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If there is something I detest, it's when I hear a disingenuous commercial DJ, who claims to just LOVE the new Foo Fighters. Really? You love the new Foo Fighters do you? Really? Really? No you don't. And if you do, then you either have absolutely no taste and no life, or so deeply consumed the Flavor Aid (yes it was Flavor Aid at Jonestown NOT Kool-Aid) that you cannot see the damage all those years under the corporate thumb has done to you. Get out while you still can.

I invited a top local commercial rock DJ to come on my show a few years back, under an assumed name, to play the music they would love to play during their day job but cannot. They turned me down, claiming that they have no need to because they just LOVE The Eagles! I think they were being honest. Poor bastard. 

Starting in 2007, I was lucky enough to recruit the late, great Michael "M-Dung" Slavko to join me on both FCCFreeRadio and then at Radio Valencia. He took me up on both, knowing that he would have a chance to take his professionally-honed radio chops and push it to the edge on a non-com. Dung is the number one reason I found myself hungry for a radio career. His morning show on KFOG (when that station had BALLS) was stuff of legend back in the 80s, pre-Stern and the vomit-laden Shock-Jock radio era. Dung Boy was much too classy for that crap. This year Dung was inducted into the Bay Area Radio Hall of Fame. You are dearly missed, Dung Baby. B-DAYYYYYYYYYYY!!!

One more note about Dung, when I was 16 I got into Wolfgang's nightclub in North Beach, owned by the late rock promoter Bill Graham (his birth name was Wolfgang). Dung was hosting the weekly "Sunday Night Idiot Show" there on this particular night. He featured a Dung sound-a-like contest that evening, and I jumped at the chance to show him my Dung-ness. I didn't win, but he appeared to be pretty impressed with my impersonation, as well as my ability to get into a 21+ club at the tender age of 16.

I don't play The Eagles on my show.

I do feature a Velvet Underground set (two covers and Lou solo), newish Boss Hog and Qui, a harrowing tale from Spiderman, and more Bongwater than you can gurgle. Or is it gargle?

Ooh, I'm also gearing up for my 8th annual Annual Annual in November. Which year will I cover? Tune in and find out. I'm also considering a Ty Segall special. This guy releases something new every time I sneeze.

Anyway, this one is for all you classic rockers who need to go back to school.



Hell's Kitchen Radio with John Hell
Mondays 8-10PM
Radio Valencia in SF

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Dad: Qui
Eight Miles High: Husker Du
Caliente: Reverend Horton Heat

Radebe: Johnny Dyani
Banzai Pipeline: The Boardwalkers
Speed Ticket: Inez and Charlie Foxx and their Mockin' Band
Tonight I Think I'm Gonna Go Downtown: Jimmy Dale Gilmore

Sunday Morning: Kelly Stoltz
Pale Blue Eyes: Patti Smith (January 09, 1976 WBCN-Boston)
I'm Waiting For The Man: Lou Reed (May 14, 1974 Stockholm, Sweden)

The First and Last to Love Me: Kip Hanrahan
Celebrity Compass: Bongwater
Nasty: Killdozer

Black Eyes: Boss Hog
The Invasion of the Dragon Men: The Amazing Spiderman
Electric Funeral: Black Sabbath
Beer Sheba: Masada

Park Head: Melvins
Kim's Dirt: Dirty Three

Soul Rebel: Bob Marley and Lee "Scratch" Perry

Want to check out the sounds of Dung? Check out the audio-only clip of mic breaks from a classic Sunday Night Idiot show below.

Monday, October 15, 2018

Hell's Kitchen Radio #347: Distracted By Your Charms

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Sometimes when I'm hosting my show in the studio it actually feels like you are right there with me. I feel like I'm talking directly to you! I see you on the couch across from the console, watching me watching you, and I get excited to share my music with you, right then, right there.

That's how it felt on Monday night.

Starting off with the some contemporary genius' of the garage/punk world: Thee Oh Sees and Ty Segall, both live from The Chapel in SF. These two tracks, back-to-back show you me current mood: kinetic and frenetic. I've got a lot of energy to shed and share.

Throughout the night it's a mix of old and new, punk, funk and junk. You know, just as always. And only two cover tunes this week!

I was considering hosting a power trio special, but I want to take a few more weeks to prepare. Stay tuned. I'm also reminded that November is coming, which means my 8th annual Annual Annual is right around the corner. Which year should I focus on this time around. If you want to see my previous Annual Annual shows take a look here. Scroll down that page and find the links you seek.

In the meantime I'm just going to relax and picture you on the couch in front of the console doing lovely and nasty things to yourself as I play DJ.



Hell's Kitchen Radio with John Hell
Mondays 8-10PM
Radio Valencia in SF

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I Come From the Mountain: Thee Oh Sees
Feel: Ty Segall
The Revolution Will Not Be Televised: Gil Scott-Heron

Rave Down: Swervedriver
Emmaline: Urge Overkill
Goodbye: Emmylou Harris

Helter Stupid: Negativland

Semi Crazy: Junior Brown
Birds of Paradise: King Tuff
Unfinished Instrumental: Parliament
I Don't Want To Pray: Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros

Jesus Was Way Cool: King Missile
Higgs Boson Blues: Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds
Step Right Up: Tom Waits

The Wizard: Brown Sabbath
Portland, Oregon: Loretta Lynn
If I'm Lucky I Might Get Picked Up: Betty Davis

Trickle Down System: Giant Sand
Sun Cycle: Blue Cheer

I Want To Talk About It Now: Bongwater
Happy Boy: Beat Farmers

Monday, October 08, 2018

Hell's Kitchen Radio #346: Why I Do What I Do

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How old were you when you fell in love with music? Do you remember your first love? Who was it? The Beatles? Sinatra? Led Zeppelin? Patsy Cline? Who spoke to you? What did they say? Why did it resonate so deeply?

When I was eight years old in 1978, my aunt bought me four KISS LPs: Rock and Roll Over, Love Gun, Alive 2, and Double Platinum. I was hooked from the first grunt. I couldn't get enough of the imagery and the riffs. And yes, I fantasized that I was Peter Criss singing "Beth" to my imaginary girlfriend. I joined the KISS Army, dressed as either Gene Simmons or Paul Stanley for consecutive Halloween's, and overjoyed when I found a discarded copy of Destroyer laying on the street, still in playable condition (playable for a ten year old, anyway). I had posters that covered my walls, and like all of my friends, strongly anticipated the broadcast of "KISS Meets the Phantom Of The Park".

They are the first band that I wanted to know everything about. Where they were from? What they did before they were a band (Gene Simmons was a school teacher!!!)? Why they chose KISS as a band name? Why they didn't stick with Wicked Lester? Of course everyone wanted to catch a glimpse of them out of makeup. But I could not hide my disappointment when they decided to ditch the makeup altogether in 1983. What the hell was that all about? Even before the unmasking, the band had moved so far away from their riff-centric rock, full of stories about partying down and getting the girl, and I had discovered another band that would hold my attention, and continues to do so.

When I was 8 or 9, around 1978 or 1979, I was introduced to The Beatles. I was floored. I jumped ship a year or two later from KISS to the Fab Four, and honestly I felt like I was breaking up with someone. I didn't know at that tender age that I was allowed to have more than one favorite band. Shortly thereafter I added Led Zeppelin and the Grateful Dead to my ever-growing list of faves. After that the flood gates were open. I started buying my own records when I was 13, and my collection grew by leaps and bounds.

Though much of my record library consisted of what would be "classic rock" by today's standards, I was really proud of what I had amassed in just a few short years. It wasn't just quantity in my mind, it was quality too. I joined KFJC in late 1988 and tired very quickly of what was sitting, collecting dust, in my own library. I hungered for more. More genres, more obscure artists, more "classics" waiting to be discovered. In 2010 I purged about 5000 LPs that were taking up too much space in my home and my psyche. Most of this music could be heard on any commercial radio station anyway, so why would I hold onto it all? What I kept (about 1000 LPs) and what I continue to purchase is inspired by my time in non-commercial radio and local artists.

There are too many musical gems waiting to be encountered by the masses. I continue to be involved in radio to share my discoveries with you. Take a look at the playlist below, and all of my playlists. Much of what you see, you have never heard before. Give it a listen. If I play it that means I like it enough to want to share it with you. Hopefully you will like it enough to support that artist. Buy their music. See them live.

Enjoy...I know I do.


Hell's Kitchen Radio with John Hell
Mondays 8-10PM
Radio Valencia in SF

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When You Get It Grunt If You Can: The JBs

Researching the Blues: Redd Kross
Chicken A La King/Bad Move: Dale Crover
Love How In Love With Love You Are: Adam Mackintosh with Storm Large
I Shot All The Birds: Blind Shake

Apache: Link Wray
Come On Over, Turn Me On: Isobel Campbell and Mark Lanegan

Psycho Star: King Tuff
You Are What You Love: Jenny Lewis and the Watson Twins
Feel: Ty Segall

Otis Rush Tribute (1935-2018)
I Can't Quit You, Babe: Otis Rush
Double Trouble: Otis Rush
Little Red Rooster: Otis Rush

Southern Politician: Willy Deville
Am I Black Enough For Ya: Schoolly-D
Round and Round: OP8
Lord of Lightening: King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard

Revolution Blues: Neil Young and Crazy Horse
Please Mr. Gunman: Mudhoney

Some Velvet Morning: Lee Hazlewood and Nancy Sinatra
Roscoe: Midlake

Pent Juri Hati: Koes Barat

This is my favorite scene from Kiss Meets the Phantom of the Park. That Paul Stanley is a real thespian.

Monday, October 01, 2018

Hell's Kitchen Radio #345: Wild and Cheap

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Do you have any idea how much I love you? I don't think you do. OK, perhaps I just lust for your ears. That being said, can you blame me? I have total and complete respect for you and your ears, and I would never maliciously put you in harms way. On the contrary, I hunger to care for you and to turn you amazing music.

I also love tamales. What's not to love? Last week Virginia "Tamale Lady" Ramos passed away at the age of 65. I spent many a Friday and Saturday night enjoying TL's delicious tamales. She may have loved us all, but you didn't want to get on her bad side. I once saw her rip into some drunk asshole outside of Zeitgeist babbling incoherently in front of her. Seriously dude, do you have any idea how lucky you were to even get a whiff of her amazing fare? Tamale Lady, you will be sorely missed. Raise a tamale in tribute, tonight! Did you know that the remarkable local band Rube Waddell composed a song in her honor? It's true, they did. Now you know. Midway through the show I play this just for you. I cannot imagine any other radio show has done the same.

Music-wise you get another musically-diverse program, with a little something for everyone. Go ahead, take a chance on love...or lust, a lust for quality music. As for the DJ, I'm merely a conduit, a paintbrush for this two hour empty canvas, curated for your pleasure. And only nine covers tonight!

And it's all about your pleasure.



Hell's Kitchen Radio with John Hell
Mondays 8-10PM
Radio Valencia in SF

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21st Century Pharisees: Mudhoney
TV Eye: Wylde Ratz
Bring Me The Head of the Preacherman: Siouxsie and the Banchees

Barstool Blues: Neil Young and Crazy Horse
Connection: Montrose
Big Chief: Professor Longhair
Frankie and Albert: Taj Mahal

Got My Mojo Working: Ann Cole
Who's Going To Help A Brother Get Further?: Lee Dorsey
Hey Joel, Where You Going With That?: Ty Segall and White Fence

Tamale Lady: Rube Waddell
Eating Food/Listening to Music: A Children's Garden of Grass
I Get A Kick Out Of You: Tony Bennett
Teeth: Oregon with Elvin Jones
The Mouth Won't Stop: FEAR

I Like Fucking: Bikini Kill
The Story of a Soldier: Ennio Morricone
Lilin: Electric Masada

3/5 of a Mile in 10 Seconds: Jefferson Airplane (February 1, 1968 The Matrix, SF, CA)
Ziggy Stardust: Bauhaus
Cymbaline: Hawkwind
Stuck Inside Mobile with the Memphis Blues Again: Cat Power

Wild and Crazy: Dr. Octogon
Life is Cheap: Flipper
Return of the Grievous Angel: Gram Parsons